Greetings from the Omnigraphic Blogopticon. On view are vile sticky things dragged from the attic, snarky commentary on the world at large, and all-encompassing ennui. All that and a weird rubbery smell. A horrible time will be had by all.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Kitty-Cat Revenge

Oh, what did Damien the Cat From Hell do to me in exchange for a nice warm bath yesterday? He got clingy. Insisted on sleeping on my pillow next to my head or on top of me and purred in my face most of the night, and woke me up stupid-early this morning all disgusting and drooling. I woke up to a pair of walrus fangs of happy-cat slobber about six inches from my face. He apparently knows I can't see crap without my glasses so he helps me out by getting right up to my nose and shrieks, just in case I'm deaf as well as blind.

He's kinda like a disgusting little kid with booger-fingers. I think he knows the drool is vile and I'd rather not have it drip on my head while I sleep, so of course the little bastard's right next to my head. I push him away and there he is, right back in my face again. This went on for a couple of hours this morning before I finally gave up and got out of bed.

The slobbering was the main reason for the bath because he now drools almost constantly. He goes in for a teeth cleaning next week so that should resolve it. Or I'll be making nice little monogrammed dribble bibs for him.

Remember the ancient 1970s SNL skit (Michael Palin hosted) with an old guy with a drool bucket attached to his face? Some sort of Charles Dickens-kinda skit and Palin's job was to empty Dan Akroyd's drool bucket. Whatever. I'll be making one of those for the orange beastie if the vet tells me "he's just old--deal with it!"

Here he is drinking at his private fountain. He pretty much refuses to drink water out of a bowl. He usually sits directly under the faucet and lets the water run all over his chest and front feet. He also likes to drink the water when I'm in the tub (kinky beast) and sometimes he slips and falls in.

That cat just ain't right.


Obsidian Kitten said...

Maybe it's a romantic gesture that he likes to drink your bathwater -- ?

We had a 14 y.o. cat that was very drooly, although as I remember the drool faucet ran mainly when she was purring. However, since Damien is so deeply and madly in love with you, he is probably purring almost constantly, and hence drooling constantly as well.

What a charmer, that one.

You can get pet wipes but unscented baby wipes or wet wipes are basically the same thing and way cheaper.

Severina said...

Now if he was a guy offering to drink my bathwater out of one of my high-heeled shoes, then that would be a romantic gesture. With the orange beastie I suspect it means he's pissed that I'm lounging in his water dish.

He normally saves the special happy-dribbling for when he gets in my lap while I'm on the computer. But the constant drooling is pretty new, like the past couple weeks. He drools in his sleep so he wakes up with a little beard of spiky fur around his mouth and on whatever part of his anatomy he's laid his head during the night. I've started making him sleep on a towel because he leaves spots on the bedspread.

A couple calls said it was most likely a teeth/gum thingy and they should be cleaned or at least checked that he doesn't need a round of antibiotics.

I think he's plotting to spend my tax refund.

Scott said...

Filthy! And your cat's no better!

Severina said...

Ahhhhh, yer sister wears army boots!

Eve said...

Get used to spending all your spare money on his lordship. He's getting to an age where all you'll hear is the sucking sound of money whooshing through your account on its way to the vet's bank account.

Severina said...

Oh wonderful! And the little monster has already told me, quite loudly, that he intends on living to be about 25.

*waves bye-bye to money*

I suppose I could have him skinned and I could turn him into a sofa pillow...

Obsidian Kitten said...

Yeah, but sofa pillows don't purr. Or wake you up sitting on your chest in the middle of the night irradiating you with their glowy eyes.