Greetings from the Omnigraphic Blogopticon. On view are vile sticky things dragged from the attic, snarky commentary on the world at large, and all-encompassing ennui. All that and a weird rubbery smell. A horrible time will be had by all.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Plot Thickens, Curdles, and Emits A Foul Smell


In this experiment, I placed my Ennui Extractor directly in front of a television tuned to an episode of American Idol, after first making use of heavy-duty ear protection, and literally squoze (fancy science word) large amounts of pure Ennui out of the airwaves. I wound up with gallons of the stuff.

Eventually I shall combine liquid Ennui and gaseous Apathy into a new and horrific weapon. All the world's Doritos shall be mine!!! Muhuhuhahahaaaaa!

*about three minutes of embarrassed throat clearing*

No, I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, thanks for asking.

I've considered soaking yarns with this lethal Ennui/Apathy concoction and knitting it into socks to hand out as gifts. The compounds will be absorbed through the feet causing severe boredom and a total lack of motivation, thus rendering the enemy completely helpless. Then, and only then, can I creep out of the house and take my place as ruler! With all the world's Doritos!!!

Must take a nap now.

6 comments:

BlackCrow said...

Now I know why I ate a whole packet of Dorrito's on my own and feel sick...your back!
I used to come here and enjoy the crickets but now its so dam noisy!
Missed you muchly....enjoyed seeing photo's of you and the beast on Scott's flickr site!
You haven't moved out your flat?

Scott said...

No, she's not back. Apparently it was all a tease.

Obsidian Kitten said...

Is she back? Perhaps rumors of our joint deaths have been (as they say) *dramatic pause for throat clearing* greatly exaggerated.

I do come bearing Cool Ranch Doritos.

Che said...

Ok I tried to call you and it was acting all crazy again! SCREAM! I just saw that movie Control OMG! How is it possible to fall in love with Ian Curtis over and over again?

Miss you and Congrats on the book stuff!

Lady Euphoria Deathwatch said...

I like your blog and was wondering where you have gone off to. Not to be noisy. Just wondering when you'll be back.

Looking forward to hearing from you again.

Sincerely, Lady Euphoria

You can find me at ladyeuphoriadeathwatch.blogspot.com

Scott said...

Since she won't do it herself and link to it here, I'll do it. You'll find Severina (or whatever she calls herself these days) at her spanking new site, Steambustle.