Greetings from the Omnigraphic Blogopticon. On view are vile sticky things dragged from the attic, snarky commentary on the world at large, and all-encompassing ennui. All that and a weird rubbery smell. A horrible time will be had by all.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I Hate My Epoch

Besides polishing off an entire library of books I've been messing about in the laboratory. I recently discovered in my experiments with Apathy that the element Ennui (MeH) is molecularly related to it, though of yet I have quite failed to do anything useful with it.

Ennui seems to be normally introduced into the brain by means of the eyes and ears, usually by simply listening to a song performed by Enya or watching a game of golf, though occasionally a lethal dose of Ennui can be administered by casually reading this blog.

In my earlier experiments I found that Apathy could be bottled as a gas and pumped into a room or onto a battlefield, thus generating an inexplicable feeling of "feh." Ennui, on the other hand, does not have a gaseous form, and must be forcibly pumped into the body once it is synthesized from visual or aural information.

I have been using the remains of my last few laboratory assistants to test my bottled Ennui. So far my subjects have yawned, grumbled, and rolled their eyes while making a "tcha!" sound. More work must be done.

I recently completed a tunnel under my building leading to both the 7-11 stores on my street. I can now lay in supplies of Doritos and Slurpees without having to deal with the cretins in my neighborhood. I had a little trouble with the Mole People while digging the tunnel but I promised them a share of the Doritos and things have been much quieter.

I have also been hard at work on an airship design, but with little success. I suppose I should give up my idea of knitting the gasbag.

Hobos have stolen quite a few parts from my Marauding Robot Army and sold them to scrap dealers to buy Night Train and crack. It's quite frustrating to discover that one's frontline Strangling Robots have no arms.

This summer I plan to make a trek to the North Pole. The cat is now trained to pull a sled and if I could keep him from consuming all the whale oil I'd be sitting pretty. I wouldn't want to be forced to use the little beast's droppings as candles. Or maybe I'll work on the plans for my Moon Colony. I'm sure the Moon Men have forgotten all about that little moon-war thingy. *looks embarassed*

Unless, of course, all this Ennui and Apathy leaks out of their containers.

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