Greetings from the Omnigraphic Blogopticon. On view are vile sticky things dragged from the attic, snarky commentary on the world at large, and all-encompassing ennui. All that and a weird rubbery smell. A horrible time will be had by all.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Hot Pussy

This is apparently what happens when you heat up a cat to about 120 degrees--they get all melty then they stick to the back of the sofa. I was told that you can get them off the same way you get gum out of hair, you just rub ice on 'em and when they get cold they'll chip right off.

I just went and left him up there. It was pointless to scrape him off then have him stick again when it was going to be 100+ degrees until maybe December. Oh, alright, October.

It's also been way too hot for it to smell bad. Either that or I've burned out my nose from the blistering air at the bus stop. I'm not even going to bother to tell the story about the wino who barfed not ten feet from me while I was waiting for the bus and how I had to run to another stop.


I'm just adding insult to injury with this pic. It's hot, it's humid, I'm cranky, and I'm sorta halfway hoping all these freak-ass electrical storms we've been having pretty much every day will fry the hell out of this rattletrap computer of mine so I'll stop patching the thing up with duct tape and get a real one.

I am officially bored out of my ever-loving mind. I have been in my laboratory (before the heat wave), hoping to synthesize Apathy from the very air we breathe. I had considered it to be the perfect weapon in my bid for World Domination. Imagine whole armies lounging around the battlefields, sighing and grumbling while I saunter in and just take whatever the hell I want. Muhuhahahaaa!


But my confounded lab assistant tipped over the beaker of concentrated Essence of Apathy (the very element FeH!) and we've all been accomplishing jack diddley ever since. This is the same fairly useless lab assistant who is now complaining about some newfangled sexual harassment jive. You'd think the guy would be able to see that a pat on the bottom is a compliment for a day's hard work well done. Nope, the guy's gotta go and upset the apple cart.

I've been a bit too apathetic to mention the two assistants I blew up and the one I repeatedly ran over with that giant lawnmower I had built for no reason.

So back to the temp agency for more helpers. Unless it continues to be over 100 degrees, in which case I'll be dragging myself and the cat into the bottom drawer of the fridge for the duration. Feh.

2 comments:

Scott said...

I would've thought you could just pop a cat into the freezer for a few months until it gets cool enough for them to be out in the open.

Scott said...

Has your camera gone wonky? The two cat photos look at bit odd. I mean the color and the grain, not the melted kitty.