Greetings from the Omnigraphic Blogopticon. On view are vile sticky things dragged from the attic, snarky commentary on the world at large, and all-encompassing ennui. All that and a weird rubbery smell. A horrible time will be had by all.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Holy Crap, 1983


While I was rummaging around through those old Sears catalogs I found some horribly creepy furniture in a JC Penney Fall and Winter 1983, way tackier than I remembered. Because I know next to nothing about 1983 van culture I had initially assumed that "van furniture" was some kind of clumsy name for a style of lounge seating or even a type of nasty fabric, and that the above photo was a particularly butt-ugly den. Noooooo. That's the interior of some jive turkey's Love Machine. Notice the sofa in the back--it opens into a bed.

Ewwwwwww.

Heavens to Murgatroid, you could even buy solid wood van cabinets and shit. In colonial style. Who the hell had a colonial style van anyhow, George Washington? Look, a bar and a sink! I'm guessing the sink could double as an emergency toilet if your old lady has sucked down too much Boone's Farm.

Shut up. Don't try and tell me that sink doesn't remind you of some sort of institutional toilet.

Crushed velvet curtains with macrame tiebacks. These really defy description. In fact, they pretty much make me want to weep uncontrollably.

4 comments:

Scott said...

"If this van is a-rockin' it probably means the heavy-ass solid-wood furniture bent the hell out of the suspension." That probably wouldn't be a popular bumper sticker.

Obsidian Kitten said...

My parents bought a second-hand van in 1982. The entire thing was lined with blue shag carpet, making it a sort of fur-lined tin can. Very practical in Georgia summer heat.

And my mother stitched up some curtains not unlike these, although they weren't velvety crushed rayon and didn't have macrame tie-backs. Shame, that.

Severina said...

I bet it also gave off some sort of chemical fumes as the van heated up, much like most fibers from that era.

Lady Euphoria Deathwatch said...

Hi Severina,

Have you been spying on me?

That is the interior of my Ex father-in-laws van.

Memories are made of thing such as these. NOT!

Hugs, Euphoria