Same As It Ever Was

Holy crap, I'm bored. Work four days, off three. You'd think I'd accomplish something in those three days beyond playing old computer games, reading bad novels, and wiping drool off the cat's chin. I've got a sewing pile that's reaching the ceiling, a mountain of unfinished Etsy shit that no-one will buy even if I finish it, and some long-abandoned website stuff that needs to be rearranged.

Feh, I say.

I've done nothing new beyond cleaning and rearranging the apartment, which is now beginning to turn greyish from its new coating of dust, and posting last month's Etsy rubbish. Nobody is buying a damned thing right now as far as I can tell.

I'd almost welcome a case of Swine Flu, just to make things sorta exciting. Maybe not. I had a two-week bout of some nasty headcold or sinus infection or space-cooties several weeks ago and no, it wasn't all that exciting. It was damned tedious.

So instead of nattering on and on about my wishlist of diseases I thought I'd wander over to my library and pull out a very special selection. Yes, "library", since my brother thinks "studio" isn't a terribly good description for that room. Jackass.

The Book of Wonders, 1917.

Mostly useful for the weird old illustrations that I've used on websites some years back, and the outdated information inside is always good for a laugh. Oddly enough, it doesn't mention that era's favorite hobbyhorses: self-pollution and dancing.

"Why Do We Wake Up In The Morning? We wake up naturally when we have sufficient rest. We wake up naturally, however, only when the destroyed parts of the body have been replaced." What? Did this book fall from some alternative past world where bits of the anatomy are ripped away in some apocalyptic battle or other and steadily replaced as one sleeps with new mechanical parts? Keen! I'll be on the first inter-dimensional steam engine heading that way. I could totally use a new mechanical head. It can't be any worse than the old parts I have made of meat.

Of course there are some supremely retarded answers like the one for "Where Do Living Things Come From?" God made everything and it took a really long time, then man "...was given additional powers so that he might become ruler of all living things..." Like the ability to shoot lightning bolts from his fingers? Maybe he could fly? No, wait, I got it. Man could bash weaker animals to bits with his hammerlike fists. Man smash! Yeah!

*squashes helpless baby animals flat with her fists for a bit*

I do love the cover. Observe the Mighty Space Owl who is angrily irradiating the Earth with the power of his ginormous eyes! Since the book came out in 1917, I postulate that the Mighty Space Owl is punishing the Earth by mutating ordinary influenza viruses into a super bug that wiped out millions. Take that, stupid Earth people!