Greetings from the Omnigraphic Blogopticon. On view are vile sticky things dragged from the attic, snarky commentary on the world at large, and all-encompassing ennui. All that and a weird rubbery smell. A horrible time will be had by all.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Accursed Embroidery

After many curses and picked-out and re-done embroidery here is the finished Ohm Sweet Ohm complete with pencil lines and scribbles.  Those washed out better than expected and somehow this actually fits into the thrift store frame I had planned for it.  Now if I could just keep the cat from pulling it off the wall.

It's an easy pattern but it does eat a lot of floss because most of it is done in three strands instead of the usual two.  I ran out of red because I thought I'd get all fancy and use a border that went all the way around, plus I had to re-do at least ten of those stupid little flowers since I can't be arsed to pay attention to a simple embroidery chart.

Finished Star Trek embroidery.  I was much too lazy to photograph them both after I sewed the second one on its towel.  Deal with it. 

Old-school Garfield hand towel, from back in the day when he walked on all fours and did cat things.  This is the other half of the bath towel I used to make the Back to the Future towel a couple weeks ago.

I pretended the rainbow didn't exist, much like I do real rainbows.  The pattern had lots of those pointless half-stitches and quarter-stitches and some stupidly complicated outline stuff that seemed to be unnecessarily popular in 80s cross stitch.  I especially love the late-70s disco font.

Speaking of 1980s complicated outline cross stitch stuff, take a gander at this crazy-ass thing I just got on eBay dirt cheap.  I mostly bought it because it reminds me of the neighborhood I rented an apartment in back in 1987, except where there are cats in the embroidery there should be winos.  The couple who owned my building had a lavender Edwardian house with purple and white trim; this was when Painted Ladies had a brief vogue here.  I'll admit I'm much too lazy to walk three blocks to see what it looks like these days, but I'm pretty sure it's whatever gray could be gotten on sale at Lowe's.

Anyhow, my kit came with two huge wads of embroidery floss that took me at least an hour to sort.  There are nine different shades of green in here.  Lt. Green, Lt. Lime Green, Med Green, etc. and there isn't a color chart.  You kinda have to count how many yards you have of something and check to see if the symbol for whatever it is in the photo is next to the name of whatever shade of green is six yards.  Yeah, awesome.  I'm currently muddling through the center house which comes in Tan, Pale Rust, Lt. Rust, Med. Rust, and Pale Peach.  Whatever, dude.

Lookit how many colors they used just in this one section.  I think the person who originally bought this kit (and all those other unopened kits on eBay) took a closer look at the photo when they got it home and tossed it in the to-do pile and never saw it again.

Doesn't look like such a bargain now does it, smart girl?  Couldn't you have used that $15 to buy yarn or vodka or something that wouldn't cause an aneurysm?

It's gonna be such a party.

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