Mis-Knitted
After a couple good nights sleep I discovered precisely what the hell is wrong with the accursed 1886 stocking. I had "slept" for five nights on a concrete mattress and a pillow so flaming lumpy I dreamed it was actually a dead goat stuffed into a pillowcase (really, I did), so of course once I got home I immediately decided to knit the toe on this damned stocking just to have the fool thing done with.
Why? Because that's what knitters do, mostly because we've huffed so much yarn fiber our brains overheat a bit and no longer function properly, and partly because we're a little soft in the head to take up knitting in the first place.
See? Corrected Damned Thing. Because the toe was much too short the ankle looked huge, and when I tried it on I suppose the foot stretched enough to sort of fit. Once I had some real sleep and woke up completely I tried it on again I saw what the hell the issue was. I kind of thought it was merely a particularly crappy pattern but instead of knitting the toe the way I thought it was supposed to be I went along with what I blearily assumed the pattern instructions said.
Normally there is a decrease round, then a "knit plain" round in a sock toe.
"For the Toe--All black--Knit plain to the end of the needle, discontinuing the seam stitch; * on the instep needle, knit 4, slip 1, knit 1, pass the slipped stitch over, knit plain to within 6 stitches of the end of the needle, knit 2 together, knit 4; on the foot needle knit 4, slip 1, knit 1, pass the slipped stitch over, knit to within 6 stitches of the end of the second foot needle, knit 2 together, knit 4; knit 1 plain round; repeat from * till reduced to 26 stitches."
Can you find the "knit 1 plain round" sneakily hidden in the instructions? Why the hell wasn't it written as "Row 1 (decrease instructions), Row 2 knit 1 round"? And why the hell didn't I just knit the toe like I usually do? No sleep, that's why.
*shrieks insanely for a bit*
So remember kids, don't knit without proper rest or there'll be hell to pay. Maybe not hell to pay, but you'll post your mis-knitted crap all over the internets and whine about how it's gone all wrong and everyone will be snickering and pointing and stuff. You don't want that.
